


Branjie Goes To Target

by orphan_account



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Bicycles, Brooke is even more intellectual with an extraordinary 45, Drag Queens, F/F, Going to Target, Kameron Michaels but make it Carmen Mitchells, Shopping, Target, Target at 2 am is lit, Vanjie has a very high IQ of 72, West Hollywood, but make it Caramel, shopping at Target, these dumb hoes get way too into their shopping experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29953089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brooke and Vanjie go to Target after a show on a Friday night to get some groceries and have some good fun.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Kudos: 1





	Branjie Goes To Target

**Author's Note:**

> i wanna go to Target with Brooke and Vanjie now

Brooke and Vanjie had just finished up their last show of the night of their 'Friends to Lovers then Lovers to Enemies then back to Lovers' tour . It was a pretty sick tour; they just hung out with the fans and smoked the good dank crispy sticky fresh kush purp Alaskan Thunderfuck strawnana nugs. They were pretty stoned by the time the show was over, but not too too bad because they'd been smoking 6 joints in 1 hour for 3 hours every night for the past 4 months so they like built up a tolerance.

"What should we do now, eh?" Brooke asked as they drove back home, luckily their final show was at the Rose Bowl so it was only `0 minutes from their house so there'd be a very low chance of getting a DUI.

"Less go ta Target, we ain't been there in foreva." Brooke nodded.

"We made $10,000 in tips tonight so we don't need to go home to get moneh."(That's a plot explainer btw) Vanjie nodded and they hopped out of their all white Rolls Royce Phantom (some crazy buff stan [by the name of Carmen Mitchells or something neither of them could remember] had bought then for them as long as they texted her so they had to text to her all the time or else she would call the cops and say they stole it) and they went inside. Because it was West Hollywood, nobody stared at the girls. Their wigs were falling off, makeup smudged, costumes slightly torn up.

"Omgomgomg what isle should we go to first, eh?!" Brooke excitedly asked and Vanjie thought for a moment.

"Hm... well they open twunty fo houwahs so we could go to erry isle if you want."

"That sounds good, eh!" Brooke grabbed a cart and they first went to the dollar section.

"Ooo look at diiiiiisssss." Vanjie said and held up a notebook with Frankenstein on it and Brooke squealed.

"How cool! I can't wait to go to the Hallowehn section!" Vanjie nodded and put it in the cart. They moved onto the boring hygiene sections but smelled the good ones anyway.

"Yo Brooke!" Brooke put the Old Spice deodorant down.

"Yeaheh?"

"What if we just borrow some shampoo, we could wash our hair in the bathroom sinks!" Brooke giggled.

"Y'know we can just buy it, eh?" Vanjie rolled her eyes, one was blue and one was brown bc Carmen snatched the blue contact out of her eye put it in her own. Talk about getting an eye infection!

"Nah, my way more fun." Brooke shrugged. The girl was right!

"Less do it afta tho ion wanna hafta walk dat much." They continued on and got to the pet supplies.

"Aww look at this, we can get it for Thackereh!" Brooke held up a cute plush toy and Vanjie smiled.

"Awww he'd like that." They put it into the cart and walked through the detergent and air freshener sections before circling back to go to the stationery and school supplies. They got a big pack of glue sticks for their brows (Mik converted Brooke back and Brooke converted Vanjie back) and headed to the glorious food section!

"What should we geht?!" Brooke asked as they perused the isles.

"Okok I actually got a list." Vanjie squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember her list. She opened them when she remembered.

"Aight... cookie dough bites, chocolate ice cream, cookie dough ice cream, brownie mix, chocolate cake mix, funfetti cake mix, chocolate chip cookie dough, ummm..." Vanjie shut her eyes again and tried he best to remember.

"Oh yeah! Cheese puffs, hot Cheetos, cool ranch Doritos, chicken taquitos, mozzarella sticks, pizza rolls, frozen pizza, chicken nuggets, and blueberries." Brooke gasped.

"How did you remember all the stuff, eh?!" Vanjie smirked.

"I got a IQ of 72." 

"Woah! Mine is 45, eh!" Vanjie patted her shoulder.

"Iss aight, you dumb asl but I still love yo goofy ass." Brooke smiled and kissed Vanjie before they went to get all the goods. Once all said was done, now it was time for the video game section!

"Oh, sweet! They have Mario Kart 8 (eht) Deluxe!!" Brooke said and rode the cart like a skateboard over to the playable Nintendo Switch.

"You on, bish." They ended up playing all of the cups, and Vanjie won every single one of them! Brooke didn't mind, knowing now that Vanjie is like Einstein Bagel Bros. level genius! The girls finished up and went to the clothes section.

"These are so boring, let's go to the toy section, eh." Brooke said and Vanjie followed them. They played with the boys toys and the girls toys and the gender neutral toys before-

"HOLY MAPLE SYRUP!!!" Two brand new, shiny bikes were on display! Vanjie and Brooke looked at them then at each other and grabbed helmets that were too small and hopped on.

"WEEEEEEE!!!" Vanjie squealed as they rode through the store at super speed, running over other customers and employees on the way. They made messes everywhere and created skid marks on the white laminated floor but stopped when they finally got to the Halloween section. (They carried their cart with them the whole time btw.)

"Here it be, Brooke, Halloween central!" The mad lads got off their now beat up and worn out bikes and carefully paraded the Halloween section. They got loads of decorations, one costume each, and nearly all of the candy that was there.

"Brooke!" Brooke whipped around, mouth and fingers covered in chocolate.

"We fuhgot ta go ta da makeup isle!" Brooke gasped and quickly finished the rest of the bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Vanjie hopped in the child seat and buckled in and Brooke sped over to the makeup section.

"Whatchu want, gurl?" 

"Everything!" Vanjie nodded and got to work, grabbing all the makeup, brushes, and tools insight from the safety of her seat. The cart was filling over the brim, and Vanjie had to hold it to keep it steady.

"Aight less pay den go wash our hyyyaaaiiirrrr." Brooke nodded and they went to the checkout line.

"OH EM FREAKING GEE!!!" Brooke and Vanjie groaned when they saw that their bag checker lady was Carmen Mitchells. She still had Vanjie's contact in her eye and it was red and swollen.

"Hi ladiezzzz how are you?!" Brooke and Vanjie shrugged and started putting their stuff onto the conveyor belt.

"Your shows were amaze!! I'm so happy I got to go to all of them!"

"Yah, all what, 169 of them?" Caramel nodded.

"Yes! Precisely! Say, do you two lovely girls wanna come to my place after this?"

"We actually tired asl so we finna go straight ta bed." Caramel looked down and sighed.

"Alwight. But if you spend the night at my house I'll give you a matte blacked out LaFerrari!" Brooke rolled her eyes but wanted that sports car.

"Okeh, but we have to be home by 7 in the morning, we have stuff to do, eh." Caramel squealed and screamed as she jumped up and down and clapped her hands together.

"Yayyy!!!"

The end.... for now.


End file.
